Hello again, it’s Dr Melissa Harrison here. As many of you know, I work extensively with separated families in my roles as a Single Expert Witness for the Family Court and a Court Ordered Family Therapist. Here in the beautiful South West of WA, specifically in Bunbury and Busselton, I’ve often been approached for advice on how parents can best support their children during transitions between homes, especially during significant periods like Christmas holidays.
Understanding the Challenges
The holiday season, while festive and joyful, can be particularly complex for children transitioning between homes of separated parents. It’s crucial that the challenges between parents do not impede the child’s right to have a positive relationship with both parents. Adhering to court orders or agreed parenting plans is not just a legal obligation but also a foundation for providing stability and security for your children.
Key Recommendations for a Smooth Transition
- Adherence to Court Orders and Parenting Plans
First and foremost, it’s crucial to stick to any court orders or agreed parenting plans. These agreements are designed not just as formalities, but as frameworks that provide stability and predictability for children during transitions.
- Maintain Positive Speech
It’s essential to keep conversations about the other parent positive or neutral. This might be challenging, especially if you’re not receiving the same courtesy, but remember the focus your child’s wellbeing. Negative comments can create anxiety and put your children in a real spot, they need both of you and implying they should take sides is really detrimental to their emotional health.
- Be the Adult
Children look to their parents as role models. Demonstrating maturity and calm during transitions can significantly ease their stress. Show them that despite the changes, they can rely on their parents to remain composed and caring.
- Timeliness and Reliability
Ensure that you are punctual when exchanging custody and adhere strictly to the agreed times. Consistency and reliability in these exchanges reassure children of their safety and the stability of their world.
- Creating a Healthy Transition
Make the transition between homes as smooth and joyful as possible. Perhaps establish a small ritual that makes the move from one home to another a little more special and less daunting. A simple gesture like packing a favourite snack or a note can make a big difference.
- Encourage Positive Relationships
Encourage your child to maintain a positive relationship with the other parent. Facilitate conversations or activities that help the child feel connected to both parents, regardless of the underlying adult complexities.
- Seek Professional Guidance if Needed
If conflicts arise that are difficult to manage, don’t hesitate to seek professional help. Sometimes, a mediator or a therapist can provide the necessary guidance to navigate through challenging situations.
The festive season is a time for creating happy memories, and by focusing on positive co-parenting, you can provide your child with the loving and supportive environment they deserve. Remember, it’s about making this season magical for them, and showing that both parents, though separated, are on the same page in their love and care for them.
Wishing all families a peaceful and joyous festive season. Remember, the greatest gift you can give your children is the freedom to love both their parents without guilt or conflict.
